Chapter 22 - Bikeless in Bangalore

Bangalore is one of the most unsafe cities to drive. The traffic blocks are a night mare and the entire system is haywire.
Still i want to have a bike. Only the Bike less in Bangalore will understand what i mean. BMTC buses are there, autos are there taxis are there. But Bikelessness is a state which only the bikeless will understand.
BMTC buses for sure connects the city. But if you have to go somewhere you will have to change at least 2 buses. Autos are a bad option since auto wallahs here (as everywhere) are merciless and if you don't know the way, will cheat you for sure. And it is not very easy to know the way in Bangalore. The way to come back from a place is definitely not the way you take to go. So it is exceedingly confusing. there are many ring roads and fly overs and nagars and hallis, all designed to confuse you.
Last day i went to my brother's place in HSR layout. I live in kumbalgudu which is in Kengeri Hobli. It is a long journey. But i should not ideally take more than two and a half hours.
I started at 11:00. walked 2 kilo meters to reach the bus stop, waited for 45 minutes to get a bus. The bus took me till Kengeri Bus stop. From there I took a bus to Majestic which is the common name for Kampegowda Bus Station. I waited for around one hour there. Finally got a bus which would take me near my Brother's abode. I was going to my brother's place for the first time. He lived in CPWD quarters in HSR layout. I didn't know the place well. But he had told me buses pass right infront of his quarters and had advised me to jump out of the bus if I saw the quarters.
And I jumped!
I was sitting in the bus sympathising with myself for the ordeal I was going through, when I saw a big arch with CPWD quarters written on it. Wow! i was so relieved! i didnt expect to reach so fast!
But the bus was not stopping, and there was no bus stop in sight. Its ok, I thought. Afterall i have reached!
Bus went more than half a kilometer ahead and stopped. It was then I jumped.
As soon as I jumped i called my brother and told him I have reached. Just to make sure I asked him
"isnt this the CPWD quarters near Survey of India quarters?"
"Survey of India? i have not seen it." By brother said.
"what nonsense! "I thought," my brother needs to get out of his house some time and look around him. He is such a non brothish brother!"
Just to make sure i asked him "Isnt it near a college?"
"No Thulsi, I havent seen it"
"OK fine, I am coming, the bus has stopped some distance from your quarters, so it will take some time for me to walk"
"OK, when you reach the gate you will find a sentry, bored to death and dozzing. wake him up and ask for block 4, room 919"
"OK agreed" I said.
Rightly enough a sentry was sitting there, dozzing off and I boldly walked in.
My Brother called
"Dont you see a building right in front of you?'
"Yes I do!"
"take a road to the right there, you will reach in front of my block then, I am coming out as well." I walked as he advised and reached a dog kennel instead of his house!"
I called up my brother,
"where are you"
I am in front of my house"
"great! stand there and rot"
"hey if you take the way I asked you to, you will bump into me!"
There was nobody to bump into in the place I was standing, I could bump into the dog if I wanted to but the prospect didnt interest me!"
I got fed up of my Brother and decided to approach the sentry.
Dozzing or not Dozzing, he is after all a Sentry.
"Anna! block 44 elli?" (Where is block 44?)
"kelgande hogi, kelgede hogi" (Go down the road!)
"kelgade elli?" (where exactly down the lane?"
"Block number 44u, HSR Layout"
"HSR LAyout?"
He nodded
"ethu yaavathu ooru?" (where am I now? )
"koramangala"
I gaped at him! and then I realised I should not be gaping, I started my walk back to the bus stop and joined around 15 people who were waiting for the bus. A bus came and i jumped and ran to it and asked
'HSR layout Hogitha?' (will the bus go to HSR layout)
'hogala', the conductor replied.
Some 10 of my fellow 'waiters' who didn't show half the excitement I showed, hopped on the bus. But I was shortly joined by another 7-8 people and I didnt miss them at all. Buses kept coming and I kept repeating my dialogue. [this is one of the first lines i learned in Kannada, only after Hotte hasitha edde(i am hungry)]
The conductors had no new replies to give.
After around 45 minutes my brother called me and on realising I am still at the bus stop came to pick me up on his bike.
I reached his house at 5:00 pm.
Even when I came back the next day, I changed 4 buses.

Am I not justified when I say Bikelessness is a phenomenon that only the 'doomed to suffer' are left to suffer?
The joy of speeding on it in the empty Kumbalgudu roads and the joy of offering lift to friends... the joy of smirking at the BMTC buses, the joy of showing faces at the auto wallas!
Well! i talked to my mom about it!
Her reply was "Oh! pinne nadannum buselum pokavunnidathu poyal mathi. Enikku pinne oru samadhanavum undavilla" [Yeah right! You go to places where you can get buses or where you can walk to, only. I wouldn't have any peace here otherwise.] I didn't even have the guts to suggest it to my father!
She is scared of accidents. But BMTC buses also meet with accidents and pedestrians also get hit. So why cant I drive? I have license for heaven's sake. Does this mean my parents trust BMTC buse drivers more than me? May be! But they have not experienced Bikelessness in Bangalore.
Like I told you, only 'Bikeless in Bangalore' will understand me!