Chapter 24 - When Life Was About Quarrels and Reconcilations

I remember, very clearly, those days when i was a pukka gunda. I dont remember the reasons for me shouting at people. But I used to... plenty of times... at almost everyone... Did I really have that much hard feelings against them? I dont think so. was I as bad as I projected myself to be? I dont think so... then why did I behave like that? Well I dont know! But I was so, the gunda, the angry girl, far from anything that is friendly.

These are times when I used to think one has to quarrel daily to be good friends. Now when I think back I wonder why people were still nice to me! I used to think, to be able to quarrel with one's friends and then forget all about the differnces and be friends again is the best feeling in any friendship. Well, I realised only I thought so. People used to think I am wierd and funny, I suppose. Funny, not in the right sense of the word, but as someone who is just not sociable enough. But I used to make it a point to talk to them normally, atleast a day after the quarrel. But the surprise and confusion on the face of others used to make me feel really bad. They all thought I am a mad dog I suppose.

One incident that really made me feel bad was when a friend (I thought he is a friend, but I suppose he thought I am a rabid dog as well) played a prank on me, on the advise of his crooked friend, and his reaction afterwards. He looked so scared, I felt horrible. He expected me to shout at him I suppose. But that expectation hurt me so badly... Till date I cant forget that incident. That is when I finally realised I cant get out of this stigma about me... My belief had failed me. Nobody understood me asI am . May be I didnt give anyone that chance. May be...

The image once got is hard to shed... And I am still in that stigma, atleast in that circle of friends. But I rectified my mistake as soon as I entered a new environment.

We are allowed to make mistakes. But we are not allowed to repeat those mistakes. Because I know how a mistake can haunt you for the rest of your life... I Know... Very well... Trust Me...