Sunday, October 11, 2009

Chapter 23 - Straight From My Dairy!

September 09, 2009
I was walking and I could feel the eyes following me! I felt nude even in my Salwar Kamees. I wished I had a Burkha, I wanted to cover myself. I drew my duppatta close to me. I wanted to run away. I wish I could stare back at them. I could feel it here there and everywhere. I wish they stopped it. What are they searching for? What did they want.

******

I walked in my white sari, boldly with my head held high. I could see those x ray eyes again, yellow and mean. But it didnt touch me. It did not dare to do so. I didnt care. I knew this would not affect me, never again. I knew they could never reach me... I stared straight at them, my stare never wavered, but I saw that the yellow eyes couldnt hold it any more and I knew I had triumphed!

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November 22, 2007

I looked at my phone, it was so silent. i started going through the numbers... why am I doing this? I know it is not there... I had deleted that number. More than that I knew that number by heart... But do I really want to use it?

To come barging into someone's life and go off pretending You had never been there... How comfortable is that?

It hurt me... It made me realise how hard life can be to you. It made me realise how it is to feel a big gaping hole in the middle of my heart. I know you dont feel anything, but I didnt know how you cannot feel anything. Do you remember me atleast at times? atleast to laugh about me,or to think what a nuisance I was, or to think what a fool I am or may be to wonder what I'm doing, or where I am. Why do I feel this heart wrenching grief, why do I feel something has happened to you. why cant I just check and see if everything is all right. dont you know you were my greatest asset, my secret keeper... Someone to share everything with, someone for me to scold at, and someone to hear all I say, but not judge.

May be you never realised, how much you meant to me... May be you are teaching me the biggest lesson ever. and I realise the full meaning of it now. Nothing in my life would surprise me ever, Life can t give me a shock anymore, I have become numb.

I renamed you... exbest friend...

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December 1, 2007

Moderately happy day... looking forward to going home. Really? Oh I'm mad... Why am I talking to myself these days? Dangerous? Is it? How do I know? Achan called Amma called Chechi didnt call... I called, you called, he didnt call.. Oh My God... this is dangerous... potentially harmful to self and the society I suppose... How do I know? Should I meet Radhakrishnan uncle? May be I should! You never know!!!

Ha Ha Ha!!!

He will allow me to be this way!

I must thank him in the dedication page of my book(if I write one, ofcourse I will write one!)

for allowing me to remain as insane as ever and for telling me this is sanity!!!

Page got over, page got over, page got over!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

******

4 comments:

  1. Attention.. Your Straight from Diary
    Sept 09 2009 I feel is a terrible copy of CHUPULLU (stares) of Telgu poetess Jayaprabha....

    Sathyam para adichu maattiyathalla?

    ReplyDelete
  2. i ma sorry, i havent heard of Jayaprabha and also I dont understand telugu, and would like to know on what basis you have made this accusation

    ReplyDelete
  3. and since you are accusing me of plagiarism I ask you to please provide the facts to prove your allegations or this can amount to defamation

    ReplyDelete
  4. Check out this link- Copy and paste the whole
    thing on your adress bar.

    http://books.google.co.in/books?id=6lV0LXRMlwMC&pg=PA135&lpg=PA135&dq=A.Jayaprabha+the+telugu+writer,+chupulu&source=bl&ots=PSmSePqmWR&sig=5g3W9bUm0bEPvUgdTsTONAWX8xs&hl=en&ei=vBfcSrizFoP06gPKupyXBg&sa=X&oi=book_result&ct=result&resnum=2&ved=0CA4Q6AEwAQ#v=onepage&q=&f=false

    ReplyDelete